This is a free write poem that I wrote not too long ago. It is about someone finally realizing the toll loving sin has had on them. I think that we forget sometimes that as humans our flesh is going to crave things that go against God's word, but it is up to us to pursue God and abandon the desires of our flesh so we can be more like Jesus. Sin might promise us nice things, but in the end it never fulfills its promise. But there is one person who has fulfilled every promise since the beginning of time, and He wants to free us from the hold sin has on our life.
I loved you to death.
Every piece of me willing to accept a lifetime of suffering just to love you.
I was convinced that the heat that rose from the depth of me, to the top of my skin, to drops of perspiration on my forehead was hotter than any other heat I could experience.
That the flames that licked my skin whenever I thought of you would prepare me for the eternal flames that were bound to devour me when I closed my eyes for the last time.
I mean that's what loving you to death meant.
It took some time to realize that I was the only one taking a risk.
Your love for me was simply out of being adored and admired and followed and exhaulted and the only thing you ever did for me was love me towards death.
Stacking the coals, pouring the gas, striking the match, and lighting the fire.
The heat I mistook for passion, for love, for happiness was only you giving me a taste of what I would feel when I finally loved you to death.
So now I decided if I were to love something ever again, I would love it to life.
And I did, I am.
I'm loving Him to life.
He who loved me to life first, who took risks first, and who loved me to His death before I even knew His name.
He who taught me passion, love, happiness could feel like fire, but it could also feel like a brisk wind that turns your nose into a faucet or a wave that surrounds your body and lifts you off of your feet before setting you back down.
Before, I didn't know I was shackled to you and that the heat had burned the metal into my wrists, but then He made them fall. I looked down at my bleeding wrists at scars I would have appreciated before, because you told me that scars were a part of life, inevitable wounds that would mark my worth until the end of time. You told me the scars you left made me normal, relatable even, but as I walked away from you and towards Him they melted away.
Now as I look in the mirror I don't flinch at my reflection expecting to see the ugliness of the marks you left, but in Him I am made completely new.
He told me that he bore the scars long ago, so I wouldn't have to.
Loving Him to life gave me the life you always promised but could never follow through with.
So I guess thank you for showing me what love is not because it was a whole lot easier to know the real thing when He offered it to me. No catch. No chains. No scars. No flames.
No death.
absolutely LOVE !!